Elusive Time
by Poetoflife14
Summary: Five years later, Satoshi deals with a stupid mistake. One that made him leave town. One that tore apart his friendship with Risa. What happens when they meet up? Rated T for eventual swearing and suggestive themes.
1. Tears in the Rain

Disclaimer: I do not own DNANGEL!!!!!

Chapter 1: Tears in the Rain

Satoshi ran his fingers through his hair. It hung loosely over his face, hiding most of his eyes. His eyes, like his hair, shone the brightest blue, even as he watched the gray sky and the clouds drifting past. How could it have been five years? How could he have let one stupid mistake take his life and tear it to pieces? He looked up to the sky as it began to rain. He felt the raindrops collect on his face and run down his cheeks like tears. Or was he crying?

He pulled up the hood of his gray sweatshirt and walked silently down the road, lamenting his own stupidity. Hadn't he made a promise to someone? Hadn't he told Niwa that he would enjoy life? He hated to break a promise, but here he was. Crying. Alone. In the rain. No, scrap the first one, he hadn't been crying. He shook his head. His father had told him never to cry.

_"Daddy." Whined an eight year old Satoshi. His lip was cracked and bloody, his right eye surrounded in a deep purple. Tears were streaming down his face as he clung to his father's suit jacket. "Daddy they beat me up again."_

_His father shook Satoshi's hands from his jacket._

_"Don't show any weakness Satoshi. You need to be strong. What will people think of me if my son goes around crying? You need to be the bigger person. Ignore it, take it. Whenever you feel like crying bite your lip, show no emotion, if the bully gets no reaction he will move on._

Satoshi bit his lip and denied his tears. That principle had been drilled into him every day of his childhood. He had to be perfect. He had to be strong. He couldn't ever mess up. He was no son to his father, nor a loved one to anyone. He was alone, except for...in memories. Krad was gone now and for a little time that pure thought had kept him going, fueling his mind and heart.

He knew he could show emotions. Damn, he could actually _feel_ emotions! Now every time she walked by he didn't have to smother the flutter of his heart. He loved the way her hair blew in the breeze and how her skirt bounced when she ran to meet up with her friends... Never him though. No. It was always about Dark. He had never found the heart to tell her.

_"Hiwatari-kun! Oi! Satoshi!"_

_A fifteen-year old Satoshi stood and watched her run up to him. She paused for a moment when she stood before him and breathed deep a few times._

"_Mr. Dark is coming tonight! He's coming to the museum. Takeshi said he is stealing the Blood Stones. Gross name for such a pretty ruby collection, but anyway...Niwa is busy on a date with Riku so I was wondering. Would you come with me to the museum?"_

_She gave him her best Bambi eyes and cocked her head._

_"No."_

_"What? No?" She asked, a little surprised. "But it's not safe for a girl to be out alone at night."_

_"I said no. Dark isn't coming. It's obviously a trick."_

_Tears were appearing at the edge of Risa's eyes. Satoshi sighed. Why did she have to cry about everything?_

_"Don't say that! Dark hasn't shown up in ages and this is my only chance to see him. Please come with me! Or I'll go by myself!"_

_She stomped her foot, crossing her arms._

_"Why would I care if you went by yourself?" Satoshi asked, his tone level, yet questioning._

_Risa looked furious and exhaled, annoyed. With a huffy expression she spun around and stalked off._

_Hiwatari shook his head. Dark and Krad were long gone. It was just a prank._

Hiwatari stopped walking, finding himself in front of the museum. Why would his heart lead him here?

"YOU HATE ME!!! ADMIT IT!!!" He screamed in the night, his fists clenched tight and his breath fast. His fingernails left indents in his skin as he relaxed his hands. He was standing right where he had a few years ago with Harada-san. He had followed her, secretly worried for her safety. She had waited three hours past the proposed time, waiting for her beloved Dark, who was further gone then she knew. She was crying; he could hear her sobs from the place where he stood, a few yards away.

_"Harada-san?"_

_He placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned and looked up at him. He thought she would cry, thank him for coming. Yet, as always, she amazed him. With a solid punch she knocked him back and took a few hesitant steps back, her face contorted in rage._

_"You stopped him from coming. Why didn't he come? Tell me Hiwatari-kun! Tell me!"_

_The tears were coming even faster now and her lower lip quivered._

_"How did you know he wouldn't come? Why do you always know? I love him! I should know more about him then anyone! He loves me!"_

_"No" Hiwatari breathed. "He didn't. He loved Rika, your grandmother. He loved how you looked like her. But he didn't love **you**. Not like I do."_

_Risa stared at him for a moment, shocked senseless. His last statement echoed around in the crisp air. He came closer to her, he could see her flinch, but he rested his hands on her shoulders. He took off his glasses and set them in his pocket. _

_"Did you love him for him Risa? Because he is gone now. He is never coming back. Dark-san is gone."_

_"No!" She screamed and turned away from him. "You made him leave. You were just jealous of us, weren't you?"_

_He was becoming annoyed. He reached out grabbed her shoulder, spinning her back towards him. And without a second thought he kissed her. She let him for a second and then ran from him, new tears springing to her eyes._

He had avoided her from then on. He had a talk or two with Daisuke, asking how she felt about him now. Apparently she was furious that he had kissed her. She felt betrayed and hurt. Satoshi sighed and began walking back to his apartment. He never meant to hurt her, but he had. After her obvious love for Dark, he had just gone and kissed her. Why? Why didn't he control himself? He kicked a rock out of his path. Now she had gone off to college, and he didn't know where. No one did except Riku and she was there too, with Daisuke. He felt so alone at his new college. He didn't know anyone. Not that he cared.

He walked into his apartment and took off his hoodie, throwing it next to the dryer for tomorrow's wash. Time was so elusive, he decided, as he lay on his bed. The clock glowed bright red in the darkness of the room. The numbers flashed 1:00 at him over and over, reminding him of his need for sleep. He looked over at his bed stand, where a picture, of him, Daisuke, Riku and Harada-san all smiling and waving, stood. With that image in his mind he set his glasses on the bed stand and drifted into sleep.

**_Author's Random Babbles_**: So? Did you like it? Please review and let me know! Now let me introduce my two main characters Satoshi and Risa! Yay!

Satoshi: So I have to do this?

Me: Yes, it is your story.

Satoshi: Well if it was my story I wouldn't have kissed her. I'm not actually that bold.

Risa: And I wouldn't act all spoiled like that.

Me and Satoshi: Yes. You do. All the time.

Risa: Oops. Ok, never mind.

Me: Anyway Satoshi, just deal with it for now. For the sake of the story?

Satoshi: Fine...for now.

Me: If you refuse I might have to unleash the crazy fan-girls on you.

Satoshi: I said fine! Geez woman...


	2. Why?

AN: Sorry for taking so long to update. Thank you to all my readers, who make me write even when I start making excuses to myself!

Disclaimer: I do not own DNAngel.

Chapter Two: Why?

_"Satoshi…I-I'm sorry."_

_I felt myself reaching for her hand; I wanted to make her stop. Oh, please stop crying. My heart bled for her as she stuttered out an apology for all those years ago. I need to make her stop, I thought. It was my fault. My fault. This was all my fault._

_My fault…_

_My fault…_

I shot up in bed, my heart pounding out a frantic melody against my chest. I hit my alarm clock from habit and then realized it never had gone off. I stared at it for a second before I shook my head dazedly and rid myself of my dream. I knew it was true. It was my fault, but I couldn't say it. It hurt too much to think that I was the one who made her cry.

After about 20 minutes I got up, still feeling a little light headed, and got dressed. After throwing on khaki cargos and a t-shirt I left my apartment. I had already decided that it was one of _those_ mornings. Yes, the mornings when I wake up feeling miserable before I even step outside. I let my feet carry me to my favorite diner, and entered without a hello. I knew these people, I came here at least once a week for breakfast, and, more often then not, I was here studying.

They greeted me with a cheerful good morning, but I ignored it resentfully.

_"Good morning Satoshi-kun!" Her eyes glowed with cheer as she ran up to me, morning, after morning, after morning…_

I shook my head. I would not submit myself to this. Not willingly. My waitress came over, same as ever. I ordered the usually toasted banana nut muffin and cup of water. The waitress gave me a hesitant smile, as if she thought I would attack her soon. I raised an eyebrow skeptically and she went away at once. Stupid girl.

My attention was torn away to a couple in the booth in front of me. They spoke in whispers, the girl letting out shrill giggles at her boyfriend's words. Without a word, she leaned across the table and kissed him.

I abruptly lost my appetite. I looked away from them and cleared my throat loudly. Daring to glance at them, I saw them unglue at the lips and the girl sit down looking rather embarrassed. Served her right. Maybe some people didn't want to be subject to her unbearable flirting.

_"I missed you Satoshi-kun. Do you feel better now?" _

_Her hand strayed to my forehead, damp with sweat. My eyes closed as she touched me and I suppressed a small shudder. I did not feel better; I had been ill for a week and had made myself return to school. I had missed her…too much. _

_"Satoshi, you can't do this. You can't push yourself so hard." _

_Her delicate touch on my hand made my heart skip a beat, and she led me down the steps back towards my apartment._

I shook my head again. I didn't need to remember this. I didn't want to remember this. I left the money on the table without touching my breakfast and left, dodging looks from the waitresses. I wandered down towards the mall, not intent on doing anything in particular. Somewhere down in my gut, anger was boiling. An anger I had kept away, locked in my soul somewhere with my sorrow. See, I tried so hard after she left for college to hate her. I wanted to hate her for thinking I drove away Dark. I wanted to hate her for leaving. I wished so much to hate her; it would make her being away so much easier. But the truth is I couldn't hate her. Not one bit. So without anyone to blame, or hate, I began to hate myself.

Why did I tell her Dark-san was gone? Why did I refuse to go with her? Why did I kiss her? I felt my chest rising and falling with force. Why? Why?

Suddenly, something collided with me and I felt myself falling. A splitting pain shot through my head, as it connected with the pavement. I picked myself up, and looked down at the person on the ground.

"No…"

Risa Harada stood up, fumbling with her coat and brushing dirt off it.

"I'm so sorry, Sir. I…"

I felt her amber eyes connect with mine and saw a light pink settle on her cheeks. Her hair was tied back in the way she used to wear it, and her face looked soft as always right down to her candy pink lips… No!

"Satoshi!" She squealed in surprise.

"Why…" I whispered one last time and I turned around…and ran.


	3. Face the Music

AN: I'm on a writing frenzy so bare with me! And I hope you all enjoy it!

Disclaimer: Isn't twice enough for your stupid lawyer? I DON'T OWN DNANGEL!!!

Chapter Three: Face the Music

Satoshi paced back and forth across his apartment. He walked across the vinyl kitchen floor, back into his bedroom. Sat down on the bed, and immediately got back up.

This was impossible.

He must be dreaming. There was no other explanation. This was going against everything he had set down for his life. First of all, what happened, happened. He would never be able to fix it. That was that. He would live alone somewhere far away from her and they would never speak again. That is how he planned it; Someone was going against his plan. Why did Risa have to come _here_ this summer? This was unacceptable. He had to stop it at once. All he could picture where her lips as she said his name. So smooth and pink…

"Argh!"

I felt the scream tear from my lips as I shook my head vigorously to get rid of her image. Lashing out, I kicked my nightstand, and immediately regretted it. Now, I was both in pain and confused.

_Just go and talk to her Satoshi._ I told myself. _It's no big deal. Just pretend it didn't happen at all. If she doesn't bring it up, you don't bring it up._

I sighed. This is why I had a personal planner. So nothing surprised me, I knew exactly when I had something to do and where it would be done. This was insane. I took another deep breath. I had to call her. I knew that I knew her cell phone number, but in a small corner of my mind I wished I didn't know it.

Then…my cell phone rang. Shit! I swore, now how am I supposed to avoid it? I glanced over at my phone with loathing in my eyes. I'm so pathetic.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Satoshi-kun! I was wondering if you would meet me at the diner down the street from where we ran into each other. Well… I kind of ran into you. (She punctuated her speech was a small giggle. Damn! Why did she have to be so cute?) I hope you can come."

"Yeah sure" I said, not even knowing where the words came from.

"Ok, I'll be there in about half an hour, see you then!"

"Yup, bye." I muttered, silently berated myself for picking up the phone.

I sighed once again, and decided to make the best of this. _Yes, that's right Satoshi-kun_, I said to myself, sarcastically. _Why don't you just go ahead and be all smiley and happy? _

I groaned and quickly undressed. I figured that if she wanted to see me, she must have forgiven me. Thus, I might still have a chance! No…probably not. But anyway, I might as well dress up a little.

I pulled on a nice pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Examining myself in the mirror, I decided to wear my blue button-down shirt over it, and I left the top two buttons undone. I grabbed a jean jacket on my way out the door and my wallet. I was on the way to face Risa, and maybe, if she brought it up, try to make amends for what I did.

"Hey, Satoshi-kun! Over here!"

I watched her spin around to look at me, calling my name. Why did her hair have to flow around her face like that? I walked towards her unconsciously and found myself sitting across from her a second later.

"How have you been?" I asked, mentally noting the tremor in my voice. I'll have to work on that…

"I'm good." She replied, ignorant of the tremor. Thank God!

"How are Riku and Daisuke? Are they a couple still?"

She nodded, a smile gracing her lips. The waitress came and took our orders and we sat discussing Riku and Daisuke and our days in Junior High and High school.

"Umm Satoshi?" She began, fiddling with her napkin. "I was wondering if you remember that day when I thought Dark-san was going to come to the museum."

I nodded, quickly cutting my emotions off. I set my mouth in a hard line.

"I remember."

"Well I just wanted to say I'm sorry for…for…"

Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. I glanced left and right, wondering if people were looking at us.

"Shush, shh. It's ok." I told her, my voice more pleading then comforting. "Don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong. Please…stop…crying."

She looked up at me and sniffed, her eyes pricked with diamond tears. Ugh, I couldn't stand that pain reflected in her eyes. Why did I agree to this again?

"I'm sorry for crying, I've just been thinking about it for a while and I shouldn't have blown up at you. It wasn't your fault Dark didn't come."

I held my tongue.

"I was just so angry because I loved him so much. But when I saw you walking around High School the next day, you avoided me. I figured you hated me, and then I started to realize how much I liked you."

I looked up; my heart had skipped about five beats. I needed to stop her. Right there, before she crossed the line in my mind, where I _knew_ she was going. I may be allowed to love now, but I still find it hard when other people say they like me.

"You know Risa, I avoided you because I had kissed you, and you ran away. I figured _you_ hated _me_."

She shook her head, smiling at me.

"Never ever, silly! I did dislike you a bit for kissing me like that, but I couldn't hate you."

Is it possible for someone's brain to just stop? Because at that moment I felt very…brain-dead. She couldn't hate me…I couldn't hate her…Why the hell did we avoid each other then!

"I don't know." She replied.

My eyes shot wide open.

"Oh crap, I said that out loud?"

She giggled again and smiled.

"Yup."

I just sat there and looked at her for a second. She was so pretty.

I felt myself moving forward.

Her eyes were closing. Oh no, what was I doing?

I was just about touching her; we had both leaned across the table.

My eyes closed. Here it comes…

"Here's your food."

My eyes shot open and I sat back down in my seat. Risa, looking equally flustered grabbed her napkin again and began to tear it slightly, her cheeks burned crimson. I glared at the waitress, with the power of all the glares I had ever given. In fact, I was surprised she didn't burst into flame. She moved away quite fast though…

"Umm, It's on me so don't be afraid to ask for a refill if you want it." I announced, lamely, as we began to eat.

"Thanks."

I nodded and began to plan my revenge on the waitress.


End file.
